Relationships and The Alexander Technique
In the 72 year research of 268 Harvard men there was one key point that prevailed beyond all else. Relationships matter more than anything else. In the article “What Makes Us Happy?” in the June 2009 Atlantic Monthly, Joshua Wolf Shenk, delves through the decades of research by George Vaillant, of what happens in tracking these men for life. Reaction formation – “responding to anxiety with an opposite tendency” was a theme. Valliant goes on to state “reaction formation allows us to care for someone else when we wish to be cared for ourselves.” But being on the defense in intimate relationships, “rarely leads to happiness for either party.”As an Alexander Technique teacher I tend to think of all things in relationship. For me I began to understand the Technique, which is the study of human reaction to stimuli, when I applied it to my closest relationships. I began to observe that in trying to care for someone else, I would tend to tighten my neck muscles, pulling my head back and down while shortening my entire body. This caused me more harm than good. When I started noticing the pattern I could choose to keep tightening or to release my neck muscles to allow my head to go forward and up versus back and down. In observing and choosing not to tighten I actually began to communicate more clearly with those dearest to me. Responding was the new choice versus reacting. My relationships became easier; I was not on the defense.What would happen if we started a new longitudinal study teaching people some primary principles of responding versus reacting within relationships? Would more people live with no regrets? Would there be fewer arguments? Could this be applied to world relationships? I’d love to hear your thoughts…
Christie Johnson
Internationally Certified Alexander Technique Teacher
Free Your Flow… www.FormFunctionFlow.com